Who are Republicans planning to shoot?

Every time there’s a mass shooting, which is a twice-a-day occurrence in the USA, there’s always the same talking points from the Right Wing for why we shouldn’t do anything about it.  Here’s what I have to say to each of them in response.

 

So, Republicans, I’m speaking directly to you, now.  Let’s look at what your tired old talking points really mean and play them out to their logical conclusion.

 “Guns are tools”

Are they, now?  OK, so what do you build with them, using them as they’re designed for and intended to be used?  Other than a cemetery? 

"It's a Mental Health problem!"

Ok, then, why does your party always cut funding for mental health?  Why do you want mentally ill people to be able to shoot others?  And, if "guns aren't the problem, people are," why on earth would you want the problem to have a gun to shoot innocents?

 

“It’s a slippery slope!”

Leading to what, exactly?  Federal troops tear-gassing citizens for exercising their Constitutional rights?  Police literally crushing citizens’ windpipes without a trial until the citizen is dead?  Unmarked government vans black-bagging citizens and whisking them off to Guantanamo?  That’s already going on.  Just look at Portland.  Funny, though, how every time it’s reported, you cheer for and defend the actions of the police and government agents.  So, what slippery slope are you afraid of, again?

 “I need my guns to defend my freedom from the government”

So, who in the government are you planning to shoot to “defend your freedom”?  The police who come to your door when you break the laws you don’t want to follow?  How many policemen do you plan to kill, then? 

Or are you planning on shooting National Guardsmen, who’d be the next most likely means used by the government against you?  Or, perhaps the regular troops that sticker on your bumper tells us to support?  How many American soldiers do you plan to gun down?  Are you going to shoot them as they ride down the street in a Humvee or are you going to take the fight to their bases, since “the best defense is a good offense”?  How many bases do you think you and your civilian-level guns will take down?  

If that’s not on your agenda, are you planning to use your guns against your elected representatives, then?  If so, which Congressmen are you planning on using your guns on to “defend your freedom”?  Are their interns included on your hit list or will you let them live because of how low they are on the government food chain?

 “Militias!”

OK, a Militia is defined by Oxford English dictionary as “a military force that is raised from the civil population – constituted by all able-bodied civilians eligible by law for military service -- to supplement a regular army in an emergency.”  When did you officially sign up for that patriotic service and which state or federal military commander do you report to when you’re on duty? 

Oh, you and your armed beer buddies are not part of any federal or state command?  That would make you either a street gang – meaning any group of individuals who share a common identity and who generally engage in criminal behavior – or a terror cell – meaning any group of individuals planning or implementing violent, criminal acts committed by individuals and/or groups to further ideological goals. 

Given that your previous talking point was about fighting a war against the government instead of serving as its auxiliary, which of the two above categories are you? 

 “I need them to defend my home and family”

Who exactly are you expecting is going to break into your rented trailer and what are you expecting them to steal?  Your TV?  Your phone?  Your gun racks?  That set of silverware you got from grandma that you haven’t cleaned in 15 years?  And what are you expecting the intruder to look like?  Are you going to do the same as Ahmed Aubrey’s killers and run down anybody who jogs through your neighborhood in a hoodie who doesn’t share your skin tone?  Or, are you simply going to pull your gun out at anybody who knocks on your door, unannounced, no matter what they look like?  And what was that you were saying about “not living in fear” again?  I forgot what it was…

  “You cannot legislate away evil.”

So, why is your party trying to ban abortion, then?  If bans don’t work, there’s no reason to push for bans, now, is there?  Speaking of abortion, how, exactly, do you expect people to believe you’re looking to protect the lives of children when you won’t lift a finger to protect the lives of children when they’re gunned down in their elementary schools?

It is nice to hear you admit, though, with this talking point, that what you’re supporting so adamantly is evil.  I appreciate that rare bit of honesty from you.

 “Only criminals will have them.”

Which will make it a lot easier to identify who deserves to get locked up.  Why is that a bad thing?

 “It’s those damned liberals”

So, you need your guns to shoot liberals, then?  Are you planning on going door-to-door, gunning your liberal neighbors down in their beds, in the dead of night, Beonna Taylor style, or will you burn a cross on their front lawns first?

 “The gays are groomers!”

So, you’re planning to shoot gay people, then?  Which gay bar are you planning on shooting up first?  Are you going to do the same to your gay neighbors that you want to do to your liberal neighbors?  How many of their doors are you planning to bust down?  

Or, are you going to shoot actual groomers, like Josh Duggar (wasn’t he a hero of yours?  So many of your beloved leaders have pictures with him, all smiles and glad-hands!)?  Or are you going to hunt down all those Southern Baptist preachers and Catholic priests that have been exposed as groomers and pedophiles themselves?  If so, which rectories are you going to shoot up first?

 “Gun-free zones don’t work”

So, why then, is the NRA instituting a gun-free zone at their next convention?  Wouldn’t your beloved Fuhrer be safest surrounded by an armed crowd when he issues his keynote speech?

 “We need more guns in schools!  Arm the teachers!  Post cops at the entrance!”

Arming teachers, huh?  Guess you’ll be really happy when Ms. Smith  snaps and shoots your precious little angel for disobedience, right?  Or should the teachers wait to use their guns until your kid tries to steal another kid’s lunch money?  No?  Will you still be cheering when your kid steals the teacher’s gun and shoots their classmates? 

And what about those cops?  What good are they when they’re cowering outside a school for over an hour in fear of an 18-year-old kid?  All they did was prevent people like you from running in to save their children’s lives.  Besides, didn't you also want to shoot cops, as per your previous talking points?  Why would you consider badged government agents hanging around your kids to be a good thing?

 “Critical Race Theory!  Great Replacement!”

Yes, yes, yes, we all know how scared you are of any academic track that paints racists in a bad light or delves too deeply into how government policies of the past impact our lives today.  Way to go in promoting well-informed citizenship!

Knowing how scared you are of being a demographic minority in a non-white majority nation – which undercuts your insistence that minorities have no problems in the USA, by the way, because you wouldn’t be so scared of being treated like a minority if you didn’t already know in your heart how badly they’re treated -- are you planning on using your guns the way the Buffalo shooter did and unload into a black neighborhood grocery store a few streets or towns over? 

Or will you just use your guns to "defend yourself" against the quinceanera that immigrant family is throwing for their daughter next weekend?  Who, specifically, are you looking to use your guns on in this glorious defense of your skin tone?

 “I just want to have my guns and you can’t stop me!”

So, if you’re not actually planning to use your guns (good for you for rejecting violent action, if that’s the case!) and just want to cosplay with them, you don’t need limitless magazines for bullets, do you?  If you’re not planning on shooting people with your precious guns, that’s great, but did you mean to admit that you’re just a poser who’s looking to compensate for some personal inadequacy?  If you’re not going to put your cosplay into real-life action, why are you pretending that acting like a spoiled toddler about it and treating deadly weapons as if they were harmless toys is commendable?  If you’re just a poser trying to look like a “real man,” why should any of us take anything you say in any other light?

"It's my right!"

Uh-huh.  Are you asserting that you personally have the right to commit murder?  That brings us right back to the critical question -- who, exactly, are you planning to shoot?

I'm just asking questions, Republicans.  Assuming you're capable of rational thought,  mull these questions over.  If you truly want us to believe you’re the "pro-life" good guys in these scenarios, actually be Pro-Life and  stop throwing a tantrum every time someone suggests a common-sense measure that prevents loss of life from gun violence.  All those tantrums do is show the rest of us that, in your heart of hearts, you're just looking to shoot someone.